Wednesday, Nov. 12, 2003 - 4:32 pm
i'm falling forever... well i figured it up the other day. i've had the diary for twenty four months now. on average, a layout lasts for about a month and a half. that, and the practical magic layout seems to have worked perfectly for a halloween/fall layout... though it was up for not even a month. but things changed too much since then, my outlook has been distorted too much since then.

right now, it feels as if i'm being pulled down constantly. it could be homework, it could be daily relationships, it could be my lack of passion for the things i love... there's just something there that makes me feel as if i'm in a downward spiral. things may seem better for a while, but they go right back down lately. the things going through my mind tend to leave me confused when i'm left alone too long with my thoughts. all of the racing and dodging of certain things, the seperating things from each other, trying to remember dream from reality... i can't keep it together all the time anymore. it's hard to distinguish the days and dates anymore. most times the only way i know what day it is, is when i come to diaryland to write. the date, day and time is provided, which helps a lot for a disoriented person such as myself.

i love the song. i really love the harmonies elsbe's made for it, 'cause most times it makes it possible for me to sing it all the way through... though i have started to pick out the harmonies that already exist in the song as well. though it's not my favorite song, it's right up there with my immortal and missing in some respects. the lyrics are those which anyone could relate to most of the time, the song itself is a bit hard, but amy's voice smooths it out a bit - no matter how low she might be singing at the time. and actually i find her voice (among other things) quite sexy... ::ahem:: anyway. it's also somewhat of a connection with the three musketeers - elsbe, kristen, and i for those who don't already know. elsbe introduced me to evanescence, and we slowly pulled kristen into it. though elsbe and i are the biggest fanatics (by far), we all have a mutual connection through the music.

like i've said, the song is by evanescence. hence the two images. i saw the image of amy by herself first and thought of doing something with falling forever before i ever even felt like this. i don't know why, but that image reminds me of going under. (that, and i think amy lee's hot. very hot. beautiful eyes, wonderful performer, amazing voice. why can't more girls be like that, lol.) i went thorugh all of the other images i have and made them black and white, seeing what would look the best as the smaller image - i like the layout of what i made last time, so i'd like to keep that going for a while. it wasn't hard to figure out what part i wanted on the bottom image, things are confusing right now as i said before.

i'd been interested in making an evanescence layout for myself since i've done a small series of them for elsbe. at first i'd wanted to make a missing layout, but i figured since i've made one for elsbe and it's the one she currently has up, i shouldn't... and i couldn't find any parts of the song that really said what i wanted said right now. linkin park's numb was up there too, but i wasn't sure that i'd really like the layout after a while. i've already done a sketch for a project in art involving that song as well, so it was basically out.

and that's the story/information on this layout. hope you guys like it.. at least a bit.

+ your eyes as we said our goodbyes +